3 COMMON TRAITS OF YOUTH WHO DON’T LEAVE THE CHURCH by Jon Nielson from THE GOSPEL COALITION (condensed)
Many churches tell the stories of “good Christian” children, raised in their homes and in our churches who have walked away from the faith during the college years. They were involved in youth programs, missions trips, and served in several ministries during their teenage years. Now they don’t want anything to do with it anymore. What is it that sets apart the kids who stay in the church?
1. They are converted. The Bible doesn’t seem to mess around with platitudes like: “Yeah, it’s a shame he did that, but he’s got a good heart.” 2 Cor. 5:17, “Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old has passed away; behold, the new has come.” Stop being pleased when kids come to youth group and fun retreats. We need to focus on conversion. When that happens–when the “old goes” and the “new comes”–we will be ready to teach, disciple, and equip a generation who are hungry to know and speak God’s Word.
2. They have been equipped, not entertained. Eph. 4:11-12 says, “(Christ) gave…the teachers to equip the saints for the work of the ministry, for building up the body of Christ.” Teachers are not just for entertainment, encouragement, examples, or even friendship primarily. After conversion it is our duty to help fan into flame a faith that serves, leads, teaches, and grows. If students leave high school without Bible-reading habits, Bible-study skills, and strong examples of discipleship and prayer, we have lost them.? We have entertained, not equipped.
3. Their parents preached the gospel to them. The church and youth pastor can’t do it all. It is impossible for the church to have an equipping ministry that sends out vibrant churchmen and churchwomen if it is not reinforced tenfold in the students’ homes. It needs to be a home where the gospel is not peripheral but absolutely central. These homes of the kids who are still serving and leading had parents who made them go to church. The kids were punished and held accountable when they were rebellious.The parents read the Bible with them at night. The parents were tough but operated from a framework of grace.
This is not a formula. Kids from wonderful gospel-centered homes leave the church; people from messed-up family backgrounds find eternal life in Jesus and have wonderful marriages and families. In general, children who are led in their faith during their growing-up years by parents who love Jesus vibrantly, serve their church actively, and saturate their home with the gospel completely, grow up to love Jesus and the church.
Pastors, pray with all your might for true conversion; that is God’s work. Equip the saints for the work of the ministry; that ‘s the pastor’s work. Parents, preach the gospel and live the gospel for your children.